


we can get to that heaven

by orphan_account



Category: Kwite - Fandom, Nick Nocturne - Fandom
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Skype, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 14:48:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17347178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "So," Nick starts, "were you telling the truth on the podcast?"





	we can get to that heaven

**Author's Note:**

> the podcast in question is loud mouths #48 and the title is from "get to heaven" by everything everything (because i'm a cheeky cunt)
> 
> this fic will remain unfinished (sorry)

"So," Nick starts, "were you telling the truth on the podcast?"

He sounds serious, but that means precisely nothing when he _always_ sounds serious. Even when he's laughing, it's the kind of laugh that tells you, "I find this funny in a very mature and measured way," like he's above finding things funny enough that it doubles him over or makes him piss his pants a little. It's a touch smug, but not in an irritating way. It's just how he sounds. Kwite's been friends with him for years and has been consuming his content for even longer - he's used to it.

"I was," Kwite responds solemnly. "Brandon really did fuck Henry in the ass at VidCon. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

Nick laughs at that, and Kwite is just enough of a faggot to think, suddenly, _Oh, well, actually, his laugh_ is _nice_. Maybe he was being a bit of a dick earlier. Maybe his laugh is less "I'm laughing, but it's because I'm too polite not to" and more of a warm chuckle.

"Warm chuckle." Christ, Kwite's about to throw himself out the fucking window.

"That's not what I meant," Nick says, "but I'm glad that Brandon and Henry finally consummated their love for one another."

"Bold of you to assume that they love each other. I know what love is; love doesn't tell you, 'Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.'"

"Ugh, that's fun for nobody." Kwite can practically hear his nose wrinkling in distaste, and he doesn't even know what Nick's nose looks like. "Lube isn't just for your partner's benefit. You're going to get chafed if you don't use it."

"Speaking from experience, are we?" Kwite jokes, and Nick doesn't hesitate to say, "We're not talking about my sex life, we're talking about yours."

"Wait, how are we suddenly talking about my sex life?" Kwite asks, confused. "I thought we were talking about Brandon's."

"I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure if you're still joking about Brandon and Henry hooking up or not."

"I am. There's no way someone's sleeping with Brandon willingly."

"You're so _catty_ ," Nick says, playing it up with a high-pitched slur of his voice, and Kwite abruptly looks away from the screen. Nick can't see him, and he can't see Nick, and that's probably for the best at the moment. He's not wearing his glasses or mask - though he's still be-hoodie'd, just not clad in the one that he wears on camera - and he can tell that he just pulled a face. "You're the cat," he says lamely.

"As far as you know," Nick says lightly. "But, yes, we were talking about your sex life. Well, _I_ was, at least."

"I'm going to need to get some clarification here, my dude." Kwite legitimately doesn't remember what he said on the podcast that would have piqued Nick's interest - Nick already knows that he's bi, too.

"Have you been watching my content long enough that my voice gives you 'tingles'?" Nick asks. Kwite can absolutely hear the finger quotes, and then he's not hearing anything at all for a moment because his blood makes a wet, thundering sound as it rushes to his face. He doesn't know how to respond to that - Nick is a friend. _Just_ a friend. A friend with a boyfriend, a boyfriend who Kwite's talked to before, and Kwite's not up his own ass or anything, so he knows, immediately, that he's not worth breaking up a relationship over. He's probably reading too much into shit, anyway. Nick, in contrast, _can_ be kind of up his own ass; maybe he needs a good ego-stroking.

"I plead the fifth," he says. "But I'm a dick, so I'm going to throw Diesel under the bus right now and let you know that he was absolutely bullshitting to save face. Dude's straight, but, you know, not _that_ straight."

"We're not talking about Diesel, either," Nick says patiently, though his voice sounds a little self-satisfied at the edges, anyway. "And no pleading the fifth. That's not fair."

"I don't play fair. You know this."

"Yeah, I know," Nick says, and his voice is wickedly amused when he purrs, "You like playing _dirty_."

Well, Kwite's obviously not _that_ straight, either. What he is is a little lonely - no boyfriend, no girlfriend; it's _fine_ , completely and utterly fine, even if it's a little isolating when it seems like all his friends have someone - and starting to, embarrassingly, chub up.

"Oh, yeah," he says, trying for sarcastic and hopefully landing somewhere in the vicinity, "talk dirty to me, baby."

"I can," Nick says evenly. "If you want."

Okay, deflection and sarcasm haven't worked so far, and those are the only weapons in his arsenal, so he rubs his hands over his face and sighs. "You have a boyfriend, Nick. Is it really worth losing everything you guys have just to fuck around with a friend on Skype?"

Nick seems genuinely surprised when he says, "I thought you knew we were in an open relationship. You guys have talked before - I thought he would have mentioned it. I mean," he says, keeping his voice deceptively light, "I told him to tell you."

Kwite feels like he and Nick are having two different conversations right now. "Okay, I'm fucking lost. Good for you guys for being, like, confident enough in each other's trust to be polygamists or whatever - and I mean that - but what does any of that have to do with me?"

"Kwite," Nick says patiently, "you're an idiot. Maybe I'm the idiot? Maybe we're both idiots. I've been coming on to you for months now. I already discussed it with Gato; he was supposed to discuss it with you, but I guess there was miscommunication somewhere along the line."

"Oh," Kwite says, for lack of anything more articulate.

"If I misread anything, or you're not comfortable with any of this, let me know," Nick says. "No offense taken, and we can put this behind us. I just thought, since we were talking about it - but it's fine if you're not interested!"

"Gato is okay with this?" Kwite asks in lieu of a response. "You're not lying to me?"

"Of course not," Nick says. He sounds a little hurt, which makes Kwite feel bad reflexively - but, if they're going to do this, then he needs to know. He truly does trust Nick, but he's not exactly naive, either. He wouldn't be the first side chick (side dick?) to be lied to. "I can call him if you want. I just thought that it'd kill the mood, but I've kind of already done that, haven't I?"

"I'm going to think with my dick on this one," Kwite says. "Not for the first time. But if I find out that you were lying to me, Gato's getting told immediately and I'm dropping you faster than Disney dropped Pewdiepie."

"Topical," Nick jokes. "Seriously, though, he's okay with it. In fact, if he's going to get angry at anything, it's going to be that he's not in the call, too. When we were still long distance, it was pretty much phone sex all the time. Well, Skype sex, anyway."

"If this is Skype sex, then I might as well throw caution to the wind and say 'yes' - though 'tingle' is maybe the unsexiest word in the English language."

"I bet I can change your mind on that," Nick says. He sighs softly into the mic, and, okay, yeah, fuck, 'tingles' is right, even if the word itself is still painfully unsexy. It's like...erotic ASMR, almost, and he tells Nick that, which earns him another warm chuckle, a little lower this time. Kwite can tell now that he's deliberately trying to sound like that, to play it up. He feels teased, a little bit, like Nick is laughing at him, but the laughing doesn't feel unkind, and the teasing is making his face feel hot, so it's fine. More than fine, actually.

"I don't know what you're into," Nick says, "but would it be presumptuous to even ask if you've masturbated to any of my videos?"

"You're so formal. Just call it 'jacking off' like the rest of us. You're not _that_ much older than me."

"Am I old enough to call 'Daddy'?" he asks. He sounds genuinely curious, which is endearing in its own way. It makes Kwite feel like this is happening more for his benefit than for Nick's, like Nick _wants_ to get him off, not just as its own form of ego-stroking, but because Kwite is his friend. "Is that something you're into?"

"Calling anyone 'Daddy' just makes me feel stupid," Kwite answers honestly. "Like, I don't care if someone's into that - " The implication that Nick could be into that goes loudly unspoken. " - But I just feel like a useless twink when I say it."

"You're not _useless_ ," Nick says pointedly, and Kwite cries, "Fuck you, I'm not a twink!" before he can stop himself.

"Okay, fine, you're not a twink," Nick acquiesces. "But you're very handsome, you know. I don't think you even realize it, but I think I wanted to fuck you before you wanted to fuck me."

"Impossible," Kwite says. "I didn't exactly jack off to your videos, but, like, I'm not deaf, dude. You know how you sound."

"And how is that?" Nick asks playfully.

"Like you should have been working for a phone sex hotline in the 90s," Kwite says without hesitation. "You're like the male Elvira, if Elvira was even more transparently meant to get your dick hard."

"That is," Nick says, "honestly one of the nicest things that anyone's ever said to me. And I figure, if you've got it, flaunt it, right? I didn't even realize how I sounded until I started getting feedback on my videos about it - and, even then, I thought it was a relatively isolated thing until it became a running theme in the comments."

"Are you deaf?" Kwite asks incredulously. "No one ever told you before you started Night Mind that your voice is like aural sex?"

"'Aural sex,'" Nick repeats. Kwite can hear his smile when he says, "Cute. But, no, I'm not deaf. I just never paid attention, I guess. I'll admit, it _is_ kind of an ego boost, though. Would it be too much to ask you to get your cock out?"

"Whoa, zero to a hundred in a second," Kwite jokes, even though he's already slipping a hand into his sweatpants, silently grateful for permission, or for the order, or whatever. "Does it count if my hand's down my pants?"

"If that's more comfortable for you," Nick says. "If you're alright with it, though, I'd like to do this again sometime - with your cock out, if you wouldn't mind. I can't exactly _do_ anything about it over Skype, but I bet your cock is just as handsome as the rest of you."

"Such a gentleman," Kwite swoons only half-jokingly. "I don't think anyone's ever called my cock 'handsome' before."

"Well, then, they're missing out," Nick says. "I bet it's the perfect size to fit in my hand. I'd say 'my mouth,' but I think I'm correct in my assumption that you'd rather my mouth be free to run, aren't I?"

"Yeah," Kwite admits. "My headphones are good, but it'd be better if your mouth was right at my ear."

"Mm, very true," Nick says. "You could fuck my hand while I whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Is there anything in particular you'd want to hear?"

"Fuck, Nick, I don't know," Kwite says, trying not to sound too desperate. He's got to keep some of his dignity. "Can I start moving my hand?"

"You haven't already?" Nick sounds utterly delighted. "I guess I did only tell you to put your hand on it; I never said anything about moving it. Do you like following orders, then?"

"It never really came up before now," Kwite says. "But, like...I'm not going to say 'no.'"

"Serendipitous." Nick hums. "You like taking orders, I like giving them. I won't push you to do anything you're too uncomfortable with, so let me know if it seems like I'm trying to, but I want those pants off after all."

Kwite kicks his pants off and gets his headphones and laptop back so quickly that it makes him a little dizzy. "Alright, pants are off, hand's back on. Can I keep going?"

"Not yet," Nick says, and Kwite mutters, "You asshole," under his breath. "I want you to tell me what gets you off first."


End file.
